Some things stay with you longer than others. In my case, I have terrible trouble sleeping at night and I get ashamed of sleeping during the day. If I'm not careful, my instincts leave me with absolutely no time to sleep and I can't afford that. I'm recovering from an extreme sleep deficit so adding to it is foolish. This morning, I decided to get into bed and stay there regardless of what happened short of fire or flood. It worked pretty well and so I feel reasonably well this afternoon.
It scares me how hard it is for me to sleep at night. I feel into a heavy drowse in what's left of my recliner while Melissa talked with her mother and sister on the phone. I know I wasn't actually asleep because I was able to follow the conversation from as far away as I could get in the house. Still, I was in a heavy meditative state because I was in too much pain to do anything else. It was just an extreme headache and my arthritis acting up (in the middle of summer?) but pain is pain. Thankfully, my migraine medicine took away the worst of the headache along with the usual meds. Still, doing anything was an excuse for the pain to start up on me again so I just drifted. I wasn't going to do anything to risk that pain coming back. I was so miserable that I wanted to scream at Melissa at the top of my lungs. "Stop making all noise or leave the room." It would have been a bad precedent because I want her company even when it causes me more pain.
I came upstairs to go to bed when the conversation seemed finished but I put my head down only to discover that my allergies were going to try drowning me. Someone should write a horror story where the protagonist has a chronic post nasal drip and an exaggerated gag reflex. I'd be happy to consult but I've never written horror. I may have written horribly but I've never written horror intentionally. Something in me shies away from the genre.
In any case, my "few minutes to let the allergy meds take effect" turned into an excuse to turn on one of my "Star Wars" games. In this one, you can plan and carry out a long military campaign. We're talking long as in days of real time and months of game time. I kept telling myself that I'd save and quit after this one battle took place but we're talking about a campaign in space. Once I managed to build up my forces, I had to win both a space battle and a ground battle. Normally, the planet I chose to attack is an isolated and under-garrisoned outpost. This time, it was still connected to a major trade route and I had failed to attack the hub first. It's set up like a wheel with a central hub of concentrated power and then spokes called trade routes connect the outer planets. After several failed invasions that I led personally, I let the computer grind away at it until my side won.
After that, I was worn out enough to need more headache meds but too keyed up to sleep. I liberated my tablet from Melissa's bedside table and delved into the latest (for me) "Harry Dresden" novel. As much as I enjoyed the TV series, it got so much flat out wrong. I can understand saving on set construction costs by having Harry live in rooms behind his office and the fake wall he used to hide his lab was a cool effect. I even preferred the TV show's take on Bob. The parts that pissed me off were things that they didn't have to do. Why make a back story involving Harry and Bianca the vampire as lovers? Harry would have been perfectly willing to help Bianca deal with dealer in an addictive magical drug. Why take something that would make it so mortals could use magical sight and make it vampire PCP? So much was dumbed down for the TV series but I still wish it had survived.
The actual books are far more complex. In one case, I thought they were too complex although that turned out to be important later. I just remember reading what I thought was the end of a book and discovering that there was yet another plot twist. As much as I love action, I was ready for some serious denouement. I wanted the heroes to sit back and have one of Mac's ales (Does he have to make special beer for his character? Dresden seems to have good taste in beer anyway.) and talk about everything that happened. Is that just hopelessly old fashioned of me? The tablet saved me by insisting on being recharged so I still have some more of Death Masks to read. I suspect that it may only be a couple of pages.
It ended up being 5 AM and I was still jumping out of bed every time I tried to lie down. Every time I get into bed, I find a good reason to get out of it. This last time was the most foolish of all. I wanted to wait until my symptoms forced me into bed. There is a point I reach after 50 some hours awake where I revert to the mentality of a toddler. I get angry at everyone and everything so it's a good thing that no one has ever seen me reach this point (at least on this side of 30) because I get impossibly miserable. Absolutely nothing is right in the world and nothing could possibly get better. When I reach this point, I know that I can simply lie down and go to sleep.
Thankfully, I caught myself and made myself stay in bed. I was exhausted and I knew it so staying in bed was a good enough idea. I was willing to risk Melissa's alarm waking me up but I never even heard it the last time. I was asleep pretty peacefully and stayed that way until Melissa got home. I'm glad that I was able to decide on pizza in my state because she isn't feeling well right now. I wouldn't have bothered her for dinner when she wasn't feeling well anyway but not bothering her and having pizza to eat beats the hell out of not bothering her and being hungry.
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