My teeth hurt, my jaw hurts and my neck hurts. The combination pain has reached a new level of horror for me. I know it sounds melodramatic but the pain seems enough to tear up my soul and leave me less than human. When it is at its worst, I have trouble thinking of others. I have trouble maintaining my crucial faiths. It feels as if I've been taking the teeth in my upper jaw and pressing outward against my lower jaw with all my strength. My jaw feels like I have been thrusting it out with all my strength again. In fact, I can move my lower jaw around and feel the pain from the neck muscles I would use to do just that.
In the seventh grade, I was taken to the orthodontist who decided that I had an overbite. He prescribed two mechanical devices that I had to wear in my mouth. The first would stretch out the top of my mouth slowly but surely. I hated the damned thing with a passion because it was another item that I would lose for sure. (No such luck.) Since the orthodontist told me that wearing it faithfully would mean less time spent wearing it, I was extremely devoted. I simply could not get rid of the thing soon enough but the second device really freaked me out. The second device would bring my jaw forward.
What freaked me out about it was the fact that it would fit into both my upper and lower jaws at the same time. People already made fun of how I talked. How was I supposed to handle school with popping this thing in and out of my mouth every time I had to speak. What was I supposed to do with it at mealtimes? My parents got the idea from a classmate who simply kept his wrapped up in a napkin while he ate but I would throw away the napkin for sure. The contradictory commands started early. I was to keep the miserable thing wrapped up so I didn't gross out my classmates any more than I already did. (Thanks, guys. My mother took you literally when it was trendy to write that I had BO in my yearbook.) No! I was not to let the thing out of my sight. Let the other kids deal with it...but don't offend anyone.
I did the only thing I could think to do at age 12. I practiced sticking my jaw out and the orthodontist was so pleased that I got to skip the much feared second device. Well, I learned to stick my tongue between my teeth to make the position a little more comfortable. At 38, I still do this when stressed. I spent four weeks agonizing over potential homelessness sleeping very little and biting my tongue both figuratively and literally. Add in the effects of my broken recliner. My neck is super-sensitive to hyper-extension (leaning my head back too much) and hyper-pronation which is the opposite. With the back no longer able to move and listing to one side, I had my choice of leaning my head all the way back or leaning it forward against my chest to relax. You might ask how either position is relaxing and my best answer would be mentioning how I just fell asleep just then with my head straight up and my back hardly touching the office chair. I have such a huge sleep deficit that I managed to fall asleep standing up in front of Melissa.
Okay. That was my second ten second nap over the course of a minute. There goes a third! I'm trying to stay awake because there is good news in my life. Pearl Jam is coming to play two shows in Philadelphia. Tickets go on sale an hour from now and good seats go fast. Luckily, my disability makes the "cheap seats" far more comfortable. At the last concert in 2009, we had seats in the second level second row stage left. That meant no one was in my way and I could see across the entire stage clearly. The major effects that most people love make me sick so I am all to happy to sit off to the side while the bright lights are aimed directly from front to back. 48 minutes to go. I need coffee.
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