Yesterday was pain doc day once again. I ended up using full scale honesty just as I knew I would. My pain doc is excellent whether I'm talking about the boss in charge of the practice, my regular monthly doctor or a former regular whom I still see occasionally. My favorite is my regular monthly doctor at the moment. She always takes me seriously which encourages me to be fully honest. There's more than one angle to look at everything.
I'm able to bring up the psychological angle to the pain without fear of her accusing me of being crazy. There are others at the same practice with whom I might not wish to talk about anxiety. My stress levels have been through the roof especially if you consider both eustress and distress. I was able to tell her that I'm having trouble keeping my head above water right now. There is something called a feedback loop that gives me a lot of trouble. If I'm feeling negative, I will see negative results that will make me feel more negative and so on. That one's easy to explain. The positive feedback loop is just as problematic for me right now. I skip rest to finish one more thought on a story project. That accomplishment feels good so I keep going. Then, I either make myself too sick to put in that hour a day or so that I can handle on a regular basis or I finish the draft. That leaves me on the ragged edge of withdrawal from a natural high.
We decided that what I need to do now is rest. I need to come down from the stress. There are a couple of State Line tastings coming up which would help me come down a lot. I tend to leave those feeling rather relaxed. The key to rest for me is avoiding things that get me keyed up but avoiding boredom most of all. We all know that there's nothing to do but hurt when you're bored
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