Living in Delaware can be such a drag. We get so little exciting weather. There can be a weather map showing the entire Mid-Atlantic region snowed in and there will be a little dot on the map depicting my house. It will have only rained there or had a dusting of snow at most. The boring weather is a double whammy as regular readers know. Rain equals pain.
Last week, I kept hearing rumors of some sort of snow hitting the area and I laughed it off. There was no substance to what I was hearing. I'd catch my favorite WMMR DJs talking about it but just the very end when they were laughing it off. (That's me for you. The station has millions of listeners but I can't resist plugging them.) They got serious enough when the rumors firmed up into Tropical Storm/Hurricane Sandy. Since hurricanes can't really miss you, we started taking the thing seriously in this household. (They can lose strength miraculously and turn into boring old rain storms, of course.)
The final step in taking this thing seriously was the realization that it would probably hit us hard. When the most trusted computer model takes the eye within 25 miles of your home, you have to take it seriously no matter how cynical you are. Besides, as one of those DJs put it, we skeptics can always keep our supplies on hand for the Mayan Apocalypse on December 12th. (Don't worry. That's something in which I truly put no faith.) Hmm...storm supplies. Why did this storm have to hit at the end of the month?
Ever have one of those things you've been meaning to do but never got around to doing? I have a number of those things quite a few of which date back to when I moved here or even when I got sick. We're talking at least a decade of procrastination. So, some company is willing to pay me for the privilege of coming here and towing away what was once a car? Compared to what I had to pay for it, they were paying chump change. Compared to the possible environmental disaster when the toxic chemicals in the thing ate through my garage floor in my own private China Syndrome? It was a good deal.
Most importantly, there was little effort involved. When the prospect of making a phone call to strangers keeps you up all night and then can knock you out for the next week, minimal effort is a big concern. They winched my former car out of the garage, I signed over the title and was given a check that would cover some pretty nice storm groceries. I dislike checks because no one trusts them anymore and it would take my credit union the better part of a week to convert it into spendable money. However, Melissa may have found a way to get the money faster without paying check cashing fees.
If we're lucky, we will have storm groceries shortly after the pain doc appointment tomorrow. Oh...did I "forget" to mention that? Yes, I have a pain doc appointment scheduled for less than two hours after the various weather warnings start to get serious. Let's see. We'll have stress pain from putting together all these plans, pain from the pain doc appointment which always knocks me out, pain from a certain weather system scheduled to pay a visit and the pain of stressing about whether or not the weather will cancel everything but the pain. I will do some serious whining if I don't get my chocolate chip cookie and Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi from Wawa after the pain doc appointment.
Okay. Let's go through the worst case scenario. That would be bad indeed. The worst case scenario would mean that I would have to go to the appointment but the bank would be closed so I couldn't get my money. That would continue to spiral into having to weather the storm with no Diet Cherry Pepsi and chocolate chip cookie plus only five beers to help keep me sedated.
Oh, you were worried about the practical stuff? This is a chronic pain blog but most of you readers might be tempted to intervene if you thought I was in serious trouble. We have plenty of drinking water on hand. We have brand new flashlights with new batteries that have been tested. We have new batteries for the radio which is something they tell you to get. We have regular food and a cooler with cold packs to keep stuff cold without opening the fridge/freezer. We have filled various jugs with water for hygiene purposes. We have candles for that homey quality and to spare the batteries on the flashlights. I have a few days of Depends on hand and about a week's worth of medicine.
We're prepared for the storm or the Mayan Apocalypse or whatever but you don't come here for storm preparedness. This site is about surviving chronic pain. In the most severe circumstances, that is best accomplished with the moderate application of beer. Beer and food that's also bad for you so that you stay in that happy state short of falling asleep but where it is more difficult to stress about everything. I recommend one to two servings of beer per day over short periods of no more than a week. Remember, I am already taxing my liver with narcotics medications. You drink it slowly and enjoy the taste.
Five beers is probably enough for a three day storm if I were to be entirely practical. You just have to remember that I'm not entirely practical especially during and after stress. I want to have a 12 pack or more of extra beer on hand plus the additional Depends I've already gotten. I am a hoarder during my bad days. I may only drink two beers but I want extras just in case I'm trapped under my house and...I'm not quite that bad. I don't have justifications for my hoarding but I feel more comfortable knowing that I will not run out. Having enough keeps me from thinking up nightmare scenarios.
You want a real nightmare scenario? Here goes. I have about a week of meds on hand. What if transportation is messed up by this storm and someone buys up all my meds? What if I run out and start to experience withdrawal? I've been there before and now I'm a hoarder.
I'd rather keep things light so we'll talk about beer and the proper methods of ice cream disposal once power is lost.
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