The title refers to my recent state of mind with a cat joke thrown in for good measure. My cats love to perch on a banister at the top of a stairwell and we fought it for a long time. We were afraid that they would fall and injure themselves. Eventually, we gave up the fight and I now refer to that ledge as the "cat balcony." Both of them fell and merely startled themselves (and me) before walking away unharmed. Now, I forget occasionally and yell at them to come down and then add...the slow way!
So, I was listening to the radio and the newest Shinedown song came on. It's called "Unity" for some reason but the lyrics almost seemed to be reaching out to me. First there's a reference to something not really starting until you're out of hope or something like that. I'm more confident about the chorus. It starts off swimming in a sea of despair then gets to the moment of truth being when you realize that you're not scared. I thought I'd be able to quote it but my head hurts too much. Listening to this song made me remember that I'm not scared.
What helped me reach this conclusion? I was summoned for jury duty. Mail difficulties I've mentioned before that have nothing to do with the Post Office caused me to get this summons fairly late. There was a moment of panic when I couldn't get in touch with anyone at the court but there ended up being a good reason. It was called Labor Day. I got in touch with a court official the next morning who told me exactly what I needed to do. I need to get a document from the Social Security Administration and fax a copy along with a form to the court.
There was no bluster, threatening or deadlines thrown in my face. This is part of the legal process. I'm not asking for any back door favors here. I'm not cutting corners or anything. This wasn't a straw breaking any poor camel's back. It was just another straw and one with which I have some experience. The system is meant to choose jurors qualified to handle the case. I am most decidedly unqualified and any lawyer taking one look at me would have me disqualified in two seconds. The system and I are looking for the same outcome here.
Here's some practical advice while I'm unburdening myself. Social Security Disability is an automatic excuse from jury duty. For once, the executive (Social Security) and the judicial branches of government trust each other to be competent. Social Security put me through a rigorous process before I was qualified for Social Security Disability Income. I suppose they look at it the way I would. That's not something anyone would willing to go through if they just wanted out of jury duty. All you have to do is present proof that you have qualified for SSDI.
This is more along the lines of practical advice. When someone sends you documents, organize and keep them. They can only help you unless someone obtains a search warrant for your house. If you're doing something to justify a legitimate search warrant, I'm not interested in helping you. File boxes are cheap and they prevent the need for frantic searches for documents that might actually be expensive to replace later on. Luckily, Social Security Documents are free even though they are a hassle. It could have been a lot worse. I wish I'd written down this fellow's position when he answered the phone. It would be nice to do a better job documenting the a positive contact with judicial system. They do a good job most of the time and no one ever notices unless they have a complaint.
This somewhat positive partial result has no bearing on a the other crises that are beating down my door symbolically. Then again, it might just help. I've been frustrated about the tasting I won't be able to attend this Thursday night. The first frustrating thing is that it is one of my favorite concepts possible, "Beers of Germany," and we would have the money Friday morning. This is just the monetary "Twilight Zone" of the month. The second point of irritation is that they are serving actual German food instead of the usual pretzels and cheese.
Okay. It's time to stop fretting and remember the trinity here. Nothing in this shakes my faith in God or Melissa. Before I let myself get down for not being able to set aside between 26 and 30 dollars for this one event, it's time to remember what I have done. I have written two drafts of what I consider to be some of my finest fiction work. I have undertaken a major organizational project using the organizer Melissa bought me mostly to serve as a fetish piece. I organized an outing to go see my best friend in another state and overcame all the misgivings about it to complete the task.
As for my treats, I had a great time with my best friend. In addition, all the beers involved in the tasting on Thursday will be on sale the next day. It's not quite as good a deal because I miss out on all the social stuff but I enjoy drinking more when it comes at a slower pace. I might have drunk more than a six pack of beer at the tasting and likely fallen asleep in the car on the way home. I'm hoping to buy twice as much but in slightly smaller batches and really get an idea of what I like. Then again, it takes me much of a six pack to decide whether or not I like a beer and then the rest to enjoy it. Mind you that this is done at a rate of one to (at most) two bottles a night.
Finally, Melissa helped me out of my funk by delving into the DVD collection and watching some good TV episodes with me. We watched the first five episodes of "Burn Notice" Season One most recently and they are great. I picked up on things that proved important later and had some laughs from the special features. The actors are hilarious doing commentary. It's just good to remember things we like to do together.
The headaches are just as bad and the overall body aches are worse but there are good things in life.
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