Three Kinds of Days

When I started writing a new blog, I had big intentions. After a few quick successes, I had even bigger intentions. Now, I'm bogged down and for a reason you might find funny with the right sense of gallows humor. I have three basic types of days in my life right now. The first is the day when I'm overwhelmed by pain and can't write. The second is the day when I'm recovering from pain days, want to write but I'm too damned tired. Finally, we have the few days when I'm too busy in the literal sense to write.

On pain days, I want to write but I'm so overwhelmed with pain that I would just babble over and over that I hurt. On the tired days, I have plenty of time but I can't find the motivation. Besides, it feels as if one can only write so many times about how it hurts and I'm tired. On the busy days, I want to tell the world that I've accomplished things but it doesn't feel right. Should I give up my big secret about going out and having a good time when I'm able?

Yes, some of what I wrote is contradictory but so is life. Usually, I try to rest and meditate to get through pain but that's boring. Sometimes, the answer is to do something that occupies the mind and lets my meds take effect. The same thing goes with being too tired. The pain gets me down and it manifests as the aches and pains of being too tired to do anything. I have places in my private journal where I tried to call my fatigue's bluff and I fell asleep mid-sentence. On the busy days, I have little or no time left to write but it would give me something more interesting to write than, "I hurt."

Therefore, I should ecstatic to tell you all about my adventures when I have them. Of course, that makes me wonder if that's what this blog is supposed to be about. Am I helping anyone to cope when I tell them how lucky I am? I have doctors and a wife who trust me to drink beer when I feel like it and can afford it. The joke is that those limiting factors right there are enough. With our income and the way I feel, I sure can't drink all that much.

I suppose my next entry should be telling you about the event I look forward to almost every month. That would be the beer tasting at the best liquor store in the area. I'll explain it in an entry of its own but it's not mostly about the drinking.