In the way most people mean, I've been back from New York for a while now. I think it might even be a week or something close but the travel costs me a lot in pain. This might be my first day back from total convalescence. I started a downturn sometime back in September or October when the weather changed and I started getting excited about October. It might have been the weather or my body might not know the difference between eustress and distress. (I am so grateful to Mr. Mark Davis for an excellent lesson on the subject in Gym/Health class ever so long ago!) That's good stress and bad stress respectfully in the simplified terms I was ready to learn in grade school. It's the difference between anticipation and fear or the night before Christmas or the night before some big exam.
The distress followed in short order. Barbara Allen, my sister-in-law, was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in early October. Whether deserved or not, she has a little reputation for taking care of things in her own time. She knows what I mean. I'm all too happy to report that this was an exception and that she's cancer free in what seems like record time. I guess it's good to have a sprinter in the family. (Obviously, the time went slower for her and her recovery isn't quite over so don't go jumping all over her.) I'm more of a marathon man if I may extend the metaphor a little. Sometimes, I forget this in the heat of battle. (Just can't resist a mixed metaphor!) I want to win and be done now if not yesterday. I could barely resist taking it out on every loved one in sight but I'm not going to bash myself over it.
The fact is that my pain meds stopped working for the most part in October and then I had some guaranteed bad times that felt like someone was kicking me while I was down. I can handle that part quite well on my own. Thank you very much. There was some hope during my last full day in New York when I was able to get past the pain enough to enjoy MSNBC. They held out and kept their internet/cable long enough for me to have some entertainment while I was there and it was much appreciated. Nonetheless, the trip back home crushed this nascent recovery as expected.
Having read my last few posts, I decided to hold out until I could write something positive. While I maintain my position on the grouchy side of the Force, I don't want to chase everyone away with pure grumpiness. There are plenty of cute little kids out there being excessively brave to show us all that all we need to do is hope. That's not exactly how it works for them but it's harder to raise money for the various Children's Hospitals with ads about how Johnny doesn't want to take his medicine today because it tastes terrible or hurts going in and he feels sicker after taking it anyway. Maybe I'll find a way to make the concept work and write "Short Term Thinking Johnny" as an ad for them.
Now that I'm back to my normal levels of pain that I can handle even if they piss me off at times, it feels like a break from the pain. Honestly, the greatest danger is that I'll treat it like one, overdo something and then go backsliding. It isn't easy because all I want to do is write, write, write! It started with a recent burst of activity on the tablet because there's not much else I can do while virtually chair bound. I wrote my friend who never writes back because I knew she could sop up the activity. Oops! This was when she decided to write back and I found myself writing as fast as I could manage with stylus and tablet. Barbara would have let me use her PC or her laptop but neither would have worked well in the sofa bed or comfy chair I staked out for myself. Melissa did a great job picking out that tablet for me! My poor friend had to cry uncle but she was a big help just by responding on those days.
Let me offer a few quick reminders about my change of season tactics concerning chronic pain. For those of us with arthritis, we may have to choose between excess sweat and pain until the cold weather sets in for good. For me, I learned to take the sweat over my bitter objections. I used to think sweating was one of the worst things in the world and I still dislike it. On the other hand, my arthritis medicine doesn't work right without swaddling as a supplement. Oh! It might have helped to have confirmed that my doctor allowed a temporary increase in that medicine to help get me through what I call - with apologies to slightly aging women - the change. For those of you without my incredible doctors, please try to stay warm and bundled where you are sorest. You might find that a little temperature discomfort can go a long way for pain control and there's no chance of tolerance, addiction and I guess overdose of warmth/fire is the same risk for everyone.
Here I am up and out of my comfy chair and sitting in my writing chair and it's good for the soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment